


Hold Up

by MamaG



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Jealous, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 22:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14840003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaG/pseuds/MamaG
Summary: I really love fics based off  the passive aggressive and jealous email Bram writes after over hearing Abby and Nick tease Simon about Cal, so I decided to write my own.





	Hold Up

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song Hold Up by Beyoncé. I also quote the song in this but make a slight change to make it work better with this fic. 
> 
> Also the timeline maybe slightly off from the book I can’t totally remember.

When Simon initially confirmed that yes, he was indeed Jacques, Bram knew he should probably tell Simon who he was, it wouldn’t be fair otherwise.That’s exactly what he had intended to do too, he just needed to figure out exactly how he was going do it.He was composing that very email in his head on Thursday before English, when Nick and Abby walk in and Simon’s name grabs his attention.

 

“...and then he tells Simon that he’s bisexual and that they should hang out sometime. It was so cute.” Abby was saying and Bram’s heart feels like it has dropped out of his body.

 

“Do you think he likes Cal?” Nick asks. Cal. Cal Price. Southern belle, Cal Price. Cal Price, who shares a name with both a president and a comic book character. Cal Price, with the blue green eyes. Cal Price, who Bram would bet his life probably likes to draw. Cal Price who is in drama club with Simon. Who has had more than his fair share of opportunities to push Simon down a hallway in an office chair.Way more than his fair share.

 

The envy bubbles up in him and it feels like rage.

 

“I don’t know, I think so? He went all red when Cal brought it up, and I mean you’ve seen Cal, he’s adorable.”Abby replied.

 

It’s at this point that Bram stops listening. Stops composing the email in his head. Just stops. When Simon walks in Bram begs himself not to notice, not to pay attention to the words exchanged between Simon, Abby, and Nick. Begs himself not to notice the blush on Simon’s face when he says that Cal is “No one.” It doesn’t work. He notices Simon, he hears the conversation, he sees the blush.

 

***

Bram’s mom doesn’t know this but her after dinner Beyoncé is so not helping his state of mind.

 

_What's worse, lookin' jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy?_   
_Or like being walked all over lately, walked all over lately  
I'd rather be crazy_

 

That does it. He was just going to work off of instinct, off of pure emotion. He doesn’t know any other way to respond right now, so he’s going to do what Beyoncé would do and let him have it. In his own Bram-like way. He angrily types out a response and sends it before he can overthink it.

 

_Step down, they don't love you like I love you_ _Can't you see there's no other man above you?  
What a wicked way to treat the one that loves you_

 

Bram knew how he had sounded in the email. Jealous, he sounded jealous. Maybe a little resentful. Possibly slightly bitter. He doesn’t like feeling this way. Bram has always been level headed and logical. He’s always been good at being able to feel out situations and pick the best, most appropriate response.But this Simon/Jacques/Cal thing made him feel out of control.He couldn’t get in touch with level headed Bram, he was out for the day, possibly for the rest of the week, the rest of the school year, maybe even the rest of Bram’s life. He couldn’t help it and it made him feel crazy.

Simon had thought Cal was Blue, which meant he wanted Cal to be Blue.It feels entirely unjust because the only person Bram had ever wanted Jacques to be was Simon.It’s a big contributor to this crushed feeling that he’s currently experiencing.

 

The worst part though was that Bram just got it about Cal.Cal was soft spoken and spoke with this completely charming southern accent.Plus, he had this whole boy next door vibe going for him.He could see why Simon would want Cal to be Blue.Bram and Cal had had a class together last year and if Bram hadn’t been so hopelessly stuck on Simon he might have had a crush on Cal himself.It was troubling to think of Simon having a crush on Cal though, and not just because Bram is not Cal, but because Bram and Cal had completely different looks.It wasn’t just the race thing either (although, that was a factor). Bram was a jock, Cal was artistic. In all the ways that Bram was slender and muscular, Cal wasslight and soft. There was no other way to describe Bram’s lips other than voluptuous. Cal’s lips were so thin that when he smiled the top one practically disappeared. All of this fueled the raging monster inside him who kept repeating over and over again he’s never going to want you. You’re just not his type.

 

***

 

Bram felt like a total and complete dick. He had received two more emails from Simon one more hurt and confused than the last. In the most recent not only was he hurt and confused but he also sounded desperate, for

Blue, for Bram.Simon had said that it was ok if he wasn’t attracted to him, that he just wanted his friend back. Something about that line just broke Bram. Not only because he had never heard something so stupid in his entire life as someone not being attracted to Simon, but because he knew that he wasn’t having the easiest time since being outed and now the one person Simon thought he could depend on, Blue, was sending him passive aggressive emails and not responding when he reached out. But Bram didn’t know what to do, he was embarrassed about his last email. When he reread it the only word that came to mind was petulant. He also didn’t have any idea as to what to say, it didn’t really seem like their was anything else to say.At least not over anonymous email. He felt awful though, felt like he owed it to Simon to do something. So after re-reading all the old Jacques and Blue emails, he finally figures out what he should do. So he gets his lap top and orders a T-shirt.

 


End file.
